Why am I so easily manipulated? Why do I always try to please others..."do the right thing"...even when it seems like it's in my best interest but it clearly isn't...why do people walk all over me? Why do I continue to do things even when it makes me unhappy?

Why do I put up with incompetent idiots and let them drag me down with them? Why do people bitch at me even though I'm trying my hardest? Will I never be good enough? Why do I let others tell me what to like?

Nobody ever asked me what I liked...what I wanted.... I just did things because I didn't want to upset others....

Was I wrong?

I feel like it's too late.... I let opportunities slip away.... I'm stuck with these doubts I have in people.... In...you....

Why am I always the villain...the tragically misunderstood? The scapegoat? The doormat? The tool? The puppet?

The one living in your shadow....

Why did I ever waste my life with you? Why do you still try to control me? Why do you think you know what's best for me?

Why can't you just let me do what I want and let me be happy?










I feel better kthnx.

Yesterday I got a haircut...and now I feel 10 lbs. lighter.

I got a lot of fanservice. Huhuhu! Everybody kinda adored my hair and wanted to work on it...everybody kept saying "OMG you have such soft baby hair!" I dunno what that really meant.... X_x

I had so many hands running through my hair and patting my head...by cute girls too!

*nosebleed*

Anyways, I got it cut very short (as usual) with my bangs left long. Everybody was just like...staring a lot.... >_> But I was told it looked very nice. I can't wait to spike it up.

I wished the day could have lasted forever...I wonder if that's what heaven is like? A bunch of cute girls fondling you for eternity? Hmm.

SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN TO ME!!!

Anyways...I hope I can be productive this week.... I have a lot to do by next week. There's cleaning and stuff that needs to be done....

I still feel depressed. I actually managed to do a lot of...projects. I feel a tiny bit better because of that. I wrote and doodled a lot of stuff in my notebook before I realised something.

I'm so f*cked up.

Just had so much on my mind I wrote pages and pages of nonsense...whatever came to my mind.

I need a smoke now.

Well, I've been working a lot on some personal things...and I think those things require a little bit more of my time and effort. So I'm going to be on a uhm..."hiatus", if you will. I want to post more paper crafts here so I'm going to try and get that done with. I am still missing a few supplies.

So, I'll only be like in and out of DA and I won't be available to talk to for a little while. Sorry, but I like need some...alone time.

Don't worry, just give me a week at most to get things sorted out. I know I don't post like a heap of work here but I do communicate with people quite a bit.

Just to clarify, I AM going to be online, just not as much as usual. I'll just come to check messages and that's it.

I just kinda feel like...you know...need to step out and get some fresh air.

>_>